Reviewed by Eric Saeger
I dunno, Scandal meets zzzzz, um, huh, something or other, and at some zzzzzz points there’s cello, like a bunch of shapeless ’80s-pop B-sides had a polite outdoor Chardonnay-tasting and Perfect Circle were throwing Nerf balls at them from the bushes. Bloom, a Washington state native (if I’m reading the random-factoids sheet correctly), has accumulated a Gibson guitars endorsement, some touch-up work on such-and-so cable TV show soundtracks, and a few other accolades that, in lockstep with the tuneage itself, make you just sort of sit and think, “My, what a wonderfully obedient songwriting person – I wonder if Lifetime needs some soundtracking done on Who Stole My Infant Daughter III”. Nothing spells mediocrity more legibly than when an utterly vanilla singer/songwriter finally does something expressive on their album of way-too-long songs and immediately destroys it with lyrics from a nursery rhyme (‘You Still Fall Down’). And lose the skunk hair. And state your sexual orientation immediately for the public record, young lady.
Grade: C-
